Fathers Rights

Even if your parenting time with your children is being denied by your ex, you can - and must - stayin touch with your children.  The remedy for denial of parenting time, by the way, is some form of petition to hold her in contempt - and sometimes, judges even do this.

But how do you stay in contact with your children if you cannot see them?  How can you interact with them if you are being denied the oppoorutnity to be face-to-face with them?

Here are some ideas:

• give your child a "restricted use" cell phone.  Some cell phones are designed to accept only calls from specific phone numbers (like yours) or to be able to call only 2 or 3 phone numbers (like yours, mom's and 9-1-1).
• text messages can be used, especially where mom denies use of the phone.
• have email addresses or websites that only you and your children use.
• have lunch with them at school.
• be at practices, rehearsals, field trips, etc.

The important thing here is to maintain that point of contact with your children, so that they know that you love them and want to be in their lives.

Want more tips on maintaining your life with your children?
"Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" can be ordered HERE
OR - you can a FREE introduction to "Aggressive Pleadings"

If you've ever had one of those "was the judge SLEEPING?" kind of orders, after a hearing, you probably begin to wonder what these "father's rights" are.

Guess what? There are no father's rights.
There are no mother's rights.
There ARE children's rights: the right to receive child support (through mom's bank account, of course).

Oh - there's also the right for children to visit their non-custodial father, to receive his love and concern, to have his viewpoint and input into how they are raised.  It's a right.

It's also pretty regularly ignored by courts - UNLESS you get it in front of the judge the right way.
It doesn't mean the judge won't sleep through your hearing.  It just makes it more difficult.

Check out "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" HERE
FREE Introduction to the concept.

Growing up, kids have all kinds of heros.  Some, like athletes, can inspire them and motivate them to accomplish great feats.  Some, like politicians or great leaders, can help them see a world bigger than themselves.  Some, like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, are just passing fads.  But there is one hero no child can grow up without.

Dad.

When Mom and Dad separate, and Mom gets the kids, sometimes Dad can stay in their lives.  Visiting them regularly.  Helping out at school.  BEING in their lives.  And the kids remember this.

And sometimes - and if you are at this blog, probably you or a father you love - Dad is intentionally excluded.  Carved out of their lives.  Kept in the dark on health matters, school and religious issues.  Dad is a wallet.  And the kids remember this, too.

Be in their lives.  If you aren't getting your visitation rights, it's a waste of time asking her for them.  It's a court order. Enforce it.

Click HERE for more information. Because your kids deserve you in their lives.

One of the most stressful aspects of being a father without custody is the feeling that you are living you life looking over your shoulder.  Everything you do is criticized.  Everything you don't do gets attacked. This causes stress. So how can you get rid of the stress?

By embracing it.

I'll give you the example I give my clients:
Let's say you've got your son for the weekend.  You two are driving in the car. He turns to you and says, "Hey Dad. Let's go to McDonald's for lunch!"

Here are the bad scenarios.
Bad scenario #1: you take him to McDonald's for lunch. And oh! You are attacked! "That's not real food!" "You're going to make him fat and give him a heart attack!"   "You are a terrible father!"
Bad scenario #2: you don't take him to McDonald's for lunch.  Let the arrows fly! "You know how much he likes McDonald's!" "He was starving by the time you finally fed him!" "You are a terrible father!"

So how do you avoid the stress in this situation?

Look, if everything you do is going to bring the accusation "You're a terrible father" - then do what you want!  because it doen't matter.  It is impossible for you to make the right decision. Or to do the thing that makes her say: "Oh, yeah - THAT's okay."

So make the decisions that are right for you and your son. Every time.

Go HERE to order "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"
Go RIGHT_HERE to get a free mini-report: Introduction To "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

So here's my question:
Should we have a term for "fathers who don't have custody"?
"Non-custodial father" is just too long and awkward
"divorced dad" doesn't apply to everyone
And what should we call this whole situation? "Split family" just doesn't sound right...
So leave me suggestions in the COMMENTS on this blog and we'll see if there is a consensus
Thank you
P.S. please don't say "Dad."  Yes, it's appropriate and it's correct - but I am looking for a specific subset of "dad"

I saw this article this morning, saying that a judge in Maryland has decided that a RAPIST has "father's rights":
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-te.md.rape05mar05,0,5226799.story
(here's the headline and first paragraph:

Rape suspects' parental rights under debate
In Maryland, a man who fathers a child through rape maintains parental rights, such as the right to appeal for visitation or custody of his offspring.)

This is insane.  In a system where fathers who live with their children every day of the marriage are denied visitation post-separation, and ex-boyfriends are given "supervised visitation" because of unsupported acusations of alcohol abuse, to even consider that a rapist has father's rights is insane.

Fathers who love their children have to fight every day in a system that refuses to acknowledge that love.  They have to fight against judges who find it easier to calculate unpaid child support than lost parenting time.  They fight mother who love the child support more than they respect the need for a loving father to be in his children's lives.

And now they are told that they are put on the same level of animals who rape women.

Our legal system is now insane. Plan your litigation accordingly.

The answer is not to amend the statute, as the article states, but for the legal system to presume that fathers love their children, and that being a rapist irrebuttably rebuts that presumption. Let the rapists form a lobby and change the laws, not force fathers to do it.

For a copy of "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" click HERE.
For a FREE copy of the INTRODUCTION to "Aggressive Pleadings" click HERE.

Well, not ALL of it.  I have decided to release the INTRODUCTION to "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" as a FREE mini-report, so that you can decide that this IS the manual to help you and your family.
This is the exact introduction from the book, not an edited or scaled-down version.  It discusses:

• WHY this book was necessary;
• HOW to use the pleadings; and
  
• the PROCESS of getting your issues into court.

So, if you haven't decided whether or not purchase "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" then just CLICK_HERE to go to the website, request your FREE Introduction, and take some time to review it.
As an added bonus, you will receive a short series of emails explaining more about "Aggressive Pleadings" and how it can be USED to help you.

So get your FREE copy, delivered right to your inbox today (even if it's 3:00 a.m.!)  Read it over.  Think about it. Think about how you can use this to be a HERO to your children, and not just a wallet.

Thank you.

Wouldn't it be nice if fathers had a Bill Of Rights that court, lawyers, custody evaluators, police, and mothers had to respect and enforce?  What rights would you put in such a Father's Bill of Rights?

Here's one suggestion:
The right to have a presumption, in court, in evaluations, and in appeals, that fathers in fact love their children.

What other rights do you think fathers have?  Leave comments, please.

And, to enforce the few rights that fathers do have, order
"Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

Fathers who do not have custody know how difficult it is to arrange summer parenting time.  Many divorce decrees or state parenting time guidelines give fathers the right to have 2 weeks, or 4 weeks, or even half the entire summer with their children!  But actually GETTING all that time? Whew. Good luck.

It doesn't take luck.  It takes tenacity and persistence. It takes demanding that time with YOU is more important than summer camps, cheerleading practices, or fake summer schools.

First, review your decre or state guidelines and see if there is a deadline for you to select your time.  WRITE this deadline on ALL your calendars. DO NOT MISS IT! At least one week before the deadline, send her a letter by certified mail and regular mail, listing specifically the dates you are selecting.  Do not say these are the dates you "want" or the dates you are "asking" for.  These are your dates. Don't be wishy-washy about it. If she has a lawyer, send the lawyer a copy as well.

If there is not a deadline in the Decree or guidelines, then pick one! Most decrees or guidelines use April 1 or May 1.  I say the sooner the better, especially if your ex has a history of enrolling the children in every activity available over the summer, to deny you your time with them.

(Review this step with local counsel to make sure it's okay with local rules and practice) File with your court a simple "Certificate Of Notification" that says: "<your name> notifies this Court that on <date>, he sent to <ex wife name> by certified mail, return receipt requested, notification of the dates elected for summer parenting time, pursuant to <paragraph of the Decree or paragraph of the guidelines>."  Send her a copy and add a Certificate of Service at the bottom.

Don't wait until the last moment. Don't let her respond to your dates with "alternate" dates.  Don't even acknowledge that these dates are negotiable.  You are entitled to specific time during your kids' summer break.  Take it. Use it.

For the best guide to enforcing your rights - and your children's rights - in court, get a copy of:
"Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

This is specially priced right now, to get it into as many fathers' hands as possible.

I monitor a Yahoo!Groups that helps father enforce their father's rights in court.  The group is called "Dads In Court" and it asks members to post strategies that have been successful in court.

A member recently posted a court opinion from the 9th Circuit that says social workers doing investigations do not have immunity if they lie.  It is unbelievable to me - as an American, as a lawyer, and as a parent - that any court anywhere would NOT punish social workers for lying or fabricating evidence on a petition to remove children from a home (as apparently happened in this particular case).

The Yahoo!Group is here: Yahoo Group: Dads In Court.

My manual for aggressively pursuing your rights in court is here
(Manual for Fathers: Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father)

And the text of the posting to the group is right here:
(I have tried to clean it up - it looks like it was scanned and OCR'd, but it's readable - and worth reading)


BIG WIN   U.S. 9th Circuit: DCF Workers Have NO Absolute Immunity For Lying in Sworn Statements. A good quote in this published case.  We must thank the Law Offices of Robert Powell for this remand.  Has your social worker ever lied and fabricated evidence?  Well we all know the truth. Let justice prevail.
 
"Furthermore, as prosecutors and others investigating criminal  matters have no absolute immunity for their investigatory conduct, a fortiori, social workers conducting investigations have no such immunity. " Yey Baby, in your face, in your face.
 

FOR PUBLICATION

UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS

FOR THE NINTH CIRCUIT

LORI BELTRAN; ROBERT BELTRAN; ü

COBY BELTRAN, by and through his

Guardian Ad Litem Lori Beltran,

Plaintiffs-Appellants,

v.

SANTA CLARA COUNTY; MELISSA No. 05-16976

SemUApRloEZy,e ein odfiv tihdeu aClloyu nantyd oafs Saannta ý CV-03D-0.C3.7 6N7o-.RMW

Cinldairvai;d JuEaNllNyI FaEnRd H aUsB aBnS, employee OPINION of the County of Santa Clara;

EMILY TJHIN, individually and as an employee of the County of Santa Clara,

Defendants-Appellees. þ

Appeal from the United States District Court for the Northern District of California

Ronald M. Whyte, District Judge, Presiding

Argued and Submitted

December 12, 2007â€"Pasadena, California

Filed January 24, 2008

Before: Alex Kozinski, Chief Judge, Stephen Reinhardt, Andrew J. Kleinfeld, Michael Daly Hawkins, Kim McLane Wardlaw, William A. Fletcher, Ronald M. Gould, Richard A. Paez, Marsha S. Berzon, Richard R. Clifton and Sandra S. Ikuta, Circuit Judges.

Per Curiam Opinion

1201



COUNSEL

Robert R. Powell and Dennis R. Ingols, The Law Offices of Robert R. Powell, San Jose, California, for the plaintiffsappellants.

Melissa R. Kiniyalocts, Deputy County Counsel, and Ann Miller-Ravel, County Counsel, Santa Clara County, San Jose, California, for the defendants-appellees.

OPINION

PER CURIAM:

1. Melissa Suarez, a social worker for Santa Clara County's child protective services, investigated whether Lori Beltran was abusing her son, Coby. After this investigation, Suarez's supervisor Emily Tjhin filed a child dependency petition, which Tjhin signed under penalty of perjury. This petition included a three-page statement of facts describing the findings of Suarezâ€^TMs investigation. Suarez also filed a separate custody petition, which she signed under penalty of perjury.

The custody petition attached and incorporated by reference the three-page statement of facts from the dependency petition.

BELTRAN v. SANTA CLARA 1203

The dependency petition was denied, Coby was returned to his parents, and the Beltrans sued Suarez and Tjhin under 42 U.S.C. § 1983, charging constitutional violations in removing Coby from the Beltransâ€^TM custody and attempting to place him under the supervision of the state. Specifically, the Beltrans claimed that Suarez and Tjhin fabricated much of the information in the three-page statement of facts. Relying on Doe v. Lebbos, 348 F.3d 820, 825-26 (9th Cir. 2003), the district court held that Suarez and Tjhin had absolute immunity for their actions connected to signing and filing the dependency and custody petitionsâ€"including the alleged fabrication of evidence and false statements. It therefore dismissed plaintiffs'claims that were based on the allegedly false petition statements. The district court eventually granted summary judgment to the defendants on the remainder of plaintiffs' claims, but those issues are not before us, as plaintiffs appeal only the dismissal of claims based on absolute immunity.



[1] 2. Parties to section 1983 suits are generally entitled only to immunities that existed at common law. Imbler v. Pachtman, 424 U.S. 409, 417-18 (1976). We have therefore “granted state actors absolute immunity only for those functions that were critical to the judicial process itself,” such as “ ‘initiating a prosecution.â€^TM ” Miller v. Gammie, 335 F.3d 889, 896 (9th Cir. 2003) (en banc) (quoting Imbler, 424 U.S. at 431). It follows that social workers have absolute immunity when they make “discretionary, quasi-prosecutorial decisions to institute court dependency proceedings to take custody away from parents.” Id. at 898. But they are not entitled to absolute immunity from claims that they fabricated evidence during an investigation or made false statements in a dependency petition affidavit that they signed under penalty of perjury, because such actions arenâ€^TMt similar to discretionary decisions about whether to prosecute. A prosecutor doesnâ€^TMt have absolute immunity if he fabricates evidence during a preliminary investigation, before he could properly claim to be acting as an advocate, see Buckley v. Fitzsimmons, 509 U.S. 259, 275 (1993), or makes false statements in a sworn

1204 BELTRAN v. SANTA CLARA

affidavit in support of an application for an arrest warrant, see Kalina v. Fletcher, 522 U.S. 118, 129-30 (1997). Furthermore, as prosecutors and others investigating criminal matters have no absolute immunity for their investigatory conduct, a fortiori, social workers conducting investigations have no such immunity. See id. at 126.

[2] The district courtâ€^TMs error is perfectly understandable, as it relied on our incorrect ruling in Doe v. Lebbos, which we overrule today. We reverse the district courtâ€^TMs ruling that defendants are entitled to absolute immunity and remand for further proceedings consistent with this opinion.

REVERSED AND REMANDED.

BELTRAN v. SANTA CLARA 1205

Thomas M. Dutkiewicz, President


Civil Rights Advocate For Families
Connecticut DCF Watch
P.O. Box 9775
Forestville, CT 06011-9775
860-833-4127
Admin@connecticutdcfwatch.com
www.connecticutDCFwatch.com

It's the beginning of a new year, which could be very good for non-custodial fathers.  It's a chance to take control of your situation.  Here are some tips on how to start turning your life - and your kids' lives - around.
1.  Stick to the parenting schedule as much as possible.   Right now, grab a calendar and your Order defining your parenting time schedule, and lay out all your weekends and holidays for 2008.  This way, you know immediately if her "offer" to switch weekends or to re-arrange a holiday will work for you or for her.  Also, sticking to the parenting schedule reinforces to her that she does not have control over this.
2.  Plan to pay your child support.  Nothing derails a father's case like getting behind in child support.  So list out when you have to pay, when your paychecks come in, when your bonuses come in, etc.  When you get your tax refund, set some aside to pay child support.
3.  Write letters to your kids, but don't mail them.  Write 5 or 10 letters to your kids right now, on anything you want.  Then, at random times during the year, send them to your kids, but to locations where your kids are guaranteed to get them.  maybe to a trusted relative or friend, or the daycare or school.  Maybe take them to your kids' game or recital, and slip it to them.
4.  Write to your lawyer.  If you are in litigation, or plan to be in litigation, send a letter or email to your lawyer every 2 or 3 weeks, and ask what is going on.  Are you getting every letter and pleading?  Is your lawyer pushing for discovery from your ex?  Are you and your lawyer on the same page regarding strategy.
5.  Talk to your ex.  About the kids.   Let your ex know what the kids did when they were with you.  Let the ex know you want to be informed of school activities, sports schedules, meetings, doctor appointments.  Ask who your kids' doctors, teachers, counselors, friends, troop leaders, are.  Discuss church.  Discuss politics.  Discuss how your kids dress.  But don't be silent when it comes to your kids.

The beginning of the year is a time for resolutions and new beginnings.  These are some tips of things you can do right now, and continue to do during the year, to maintain a strong relationship with your kids and to put you in a better position to win in court, if that has to happen.

Also, don't forget the following resources for fathers:
--Yahoo Group: Dads In Court
--Manual for Fathers: Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father

And please comments on this and all blog postings.  Other fathers can learn from YOUR experiences.