Fathers Rights

The battles in family law court are too often brutal, no holds barred bloodfests, where the issue is never really the “bests interests of the children.” The thing that more often than not makes this type of litigation so ugly, so harmful, so distasteful is the parents’ need to control the actions of the other parent. Yeah, fathers are not always blameless in this. But mothers aren’t either. And, since this is a blog on father’s rights, we are going to look at what some mothers do in court to make these custody and parenting time battles so harmful to the children. Don’t like it? Start your own blog. Let’s go.

Mothers know that the way to control a father is through his children. A father who loves his children is the most vulnerable thing in the world. Threaten his kids and you can get him to do anything.But threaten his relations with his children, and he fights back. Hard And mothers who don’t like the fathers of their children - don’t like THIS.

So they often adopt the tactic of controlling his court-ordered parenting time by trying to portray this good father - this father who provides for his children, pays for their cars and schools, visits them every opportunity he gets and in fact asks for MORE time- as a bad man. A man who won’t give his kids medication. A man who won’t feed his kids. A man who hits them or threaten them with a belt if they don’t OBEY his rules! These mothers may even try to engage in parental alienation by trying to convince the children of these falsehoods - but that’s a topic for another post.

On the surface, this is so ridiculous as to be laughable. No kid has starved on a weekend visit with dad. No father who spends thousands of dollars and humiliating hours in court to get parenting time with his kids, is then going to refuse to give his children medication These accusations should be laughed out of court.

Unfortunately - and you can decide why society allows this to occur - these accusations are taken seriously in court. And they result in fathers getting their parenting time reduced or even eliminated.

How do you fight this? First, by recognizing it when it starts and fighting back aggressively. Second, by having a strategy with your lawyer to fight it hard, fast, and early.

The Father’s Rights Library was written exactly for fathers in this situation. The second manual in the library was just released for sale: “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father.” This can be used to find out what strategies and tactics she is going to use, so you can plan for them and not be surprised by them. Used with the first manual, “Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father,” you can develop an effective efficient strategy to destroy the accusation of “bad man” and let the Court see that you are in fact a Good Father.

You can get both manuals here - at a SPECIAL SALE PRICE and with 5 Free EXCLUSIVE BONUSES -at THIS LINK only.

Check it out. Buy it for your case, or for a friend who can use it.

Because your kids KNOW you are a good father. But how do you convince them you aren’t a bad man, if the Court decides that you are?
Get help HERE now.

“Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” is now available, at an unbelievable price!
Check out the website for the special pricing.
The website is actually still in-progress.  It is a comprehensive website, to promote and market the Father’s Rights Library.  It is not complete, but there is enough there for people to get “Aggressive Pleadings” and “Aggressive Discovery” to use in your own personal custody battle, divorce war, or family law court litigation.
What is NOT on the website (yet) are the BONUSES. All FREE with ordering the SPECIAL:

• 7 Steps To Happiness After Divorce ($29.95 value): the hearing is over, but the divorce/breakup just goes on and on… Use this book to achieve happiness after your divorce or breakup
• Think And Grow Rich ($29.95): the original self-help book, this classic is so much more than just “how to feel good” - it is THE ORIGINAL blueprint for mental and financial success
• How To Make 6 Figures Online ($49.95): use an online business to pay your child support or get extra cash to spend on your kids
• STRATEGY (a Father’s Rights Library EXCLUSIVE): how to develop litigation strategy with your attorney
• A FATHER’S UNOFFICIAL BILL OF RIGHTS (a Father’s Rights Library EXCLUSIVE): 10 “rights” that Fathers do NOT have - but should.  Use these as the standdard to present your case. Let the Judge know what you EXPECT the court to do.

So check out the website.  It will get better looking, and have a FEEDBACK box added shortly.  But we wanted to get it up as soon as possible, so that as many FATHERS as possible can take advantage of “Aggressive Pleadings” and “Aggressive Dscovery” at this SPECIAL LIMITED TIME pricing.
Click HERE now.

As unlikely as this may sound, the court rules on the evidence that is presented.  Not on the accusations.  Not on the pleadings. But the evidence that supports the allegations.  So the evidence that is presented in court is an extremely important part of your case.

Evidence is testimony, documents, witnesses, etc. that prove the allegations are true (or are more likely to be true).  For example, your ex says you drink during your parenting time. She must first present evidence to support this allegation - a witness who has seen you drink, an arrest for DUI that occurred during your weekend with the children, or some such similar evidence - before you have to prove that you don’t.

Likewise, you allege that her boyfriend has a violent past, to support an allegation that the children are in danger.  Your evidence could be his arrest or conviction record, his former girlfriends who say he is violent, his employment file showing firings for violence at work, and things like that.  Simply saying “her boyfriend is violent” generally won’t do it.  You are allowed to testify as to his direct threats to you personally.

So an overall strategy would include what evidence is needed, to support the allegations, to support the pleadings, to win your case.  This is why having several meetings with your attorney focused on strategy is important.

UPDATE: “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” is completed.  We are preparing the  website to order from, as well as the BONUSES and the SPECIAL SALE page.  So, if you want to take advantage of THIS offer, you only have a few more days:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” this week (barring unforeseen circumstances). Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.  As soon as “Aggressive Discovery” goes on sale, this offer goes away.

The second step in developing a strategy with your lawyer is to determine what pleadings will help you achieve your goals in family law court.  This is because the judge is generally limited to ruling only on the issues that he or she has been asked to rule on.  For example, let’s say that you have filed a Petition To Modify Child Support. So the judge is deciding whether or not to raise or lower your child suport, and maybe determine whether or not there is an arrearage.  During the presentation of the evidence, your ex testifies that she has been denying you court-ordered parenting time with your children.  But, since there is no Petition For Contempt Of Court for denial of parenting time, the judge cannot issue any ruling on that topic.  So, even though there is evidence that your father’s rights were violated, the court most likely can do nothing about it.

So the pleadings determine the issues the Judge can rule on.  But you cannot throw every imaginable pleading in front of the judge and hope that someone testifies to some issue that may be in there.  In a hotly contested custody battle, such tactics are wasteful and distracting.  THAT is almost certainly a ticket to paying her attorney’s fees!

The answer is to analyze your goals, and determine - with your lawyer - the specific pleading or pleadings to be able to ask the Judge for those goals.  This may be by putting what looks like the same goal in 2 or 3 pleadings.  For example, let’s say you were just laid off because your job is in a part of the economy that has just recently disappeared, so there is no chance of getting your old job back.  You need - and deserve - a modification/lowering of your child support.  BUT it might take months to get into court to have the hearing.  And you know, from past experience, that your ex will delay THAT hearing as long as possible, so she can keep getting the higher child support.

So your goal is not only to lower your child suppoort, but also to do it as soon as possible.  One possible solution (check with a local attorney to see if this is possible in your jurisdiction) is to file a Petition To Modify Child Support and an Emergency Petition To Temporarily Reduce Child Support.  This way, the court can hold an abbreviated hearing to determine that you have indeed lost your job, and it looks long-term, and that you should get immediate relief of lower child support. The court can then use the Petition To Modify Child Suport hearing down the road to hear all the facts concernig a permanent change of your child support.  The appropriate pleadings can get you the re3lief you are looking for.

By developing a strategy with your lawyer, you can then focus the most appropriate pleadings and discovery mechanisms to achieve your goals.  By doing this, you not only increase your chances of success in court, but you save time and money.  You also save the endless questioning of “Why didn’t we file a …?”

The next few posts will look at evidence, issues, and discovery.

Don’t forget about our special offer:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” this week (barring unforeseen circumstances). Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.  As soon as “Aggressive Discovery” goes on sale, this offer goes away.

Strategy is defined as a plan or method for obtaining a specific goal or result.  Well, that’s easy enough, right?  My goal is pizza.  My plan is pick up the phone and order it.  What’s the big deal?  And how does this relate to family law court involving custody battles and parental alienation?

Let’s keep this simple. Let’s look at the pizza strategy first.  If you call a pizza place and say “bring me a pizza,” will you get THE pizza you want?  What kind of pizza?  What size pizza? When do you want it - now, at halftime, or after the game?  Let’s say you know the answers to those questions: large thick crust pizza with sausage, to be delivered in 40 minutes. So that’s the specific goal.  What’s the plan?

Call it in.  So who do you call?  Can they deliver it in 40 minutes, or will it be later or earlier?  Is it the price you want to pay? Are you going to get the little side offers: breadsticks (yeah), cinnamon things (no), soda (check the fridge)?  How many pizzas?

Obviously, family law litigation involving your children is going to be more complicated than ordering a pizza.  Yet most fathers walk into their lawyer’s office with only the foggiest idea of what they want: more time. Less child suport. To stop her interfereing.  Vague, undefined ideas of things thata may become goals one day, when they grow up.

Look at the twelfth word in the first sentence. Specific. Specific.  The exact definable measurable goal you want to obtain.  The goal that will determine if you are successful or not.  More time with your children? Make that “one more overnight per week” or “3 consecutive weeks in the summer.”  Less child support? How about “obtain her last 8 paystubs and her W2s and her tax returns and her eBay money, to be able to calculate exactly my child support.”  Stop her interfering? Your goal is “1 phone call from her to the children per weekend” or “her boyfriend or husband cannot be present at the visitation time transfer.”

YOU know your goal.  You can spell it out.  You can SEE it. You can FEEL what it will be like.  So TELL your lawyer exactly what it is.  Too many fathers think they need to let their lawyer or the judge define “more time” or “fair child support” or “protect my children.”  THIS is the first step of developing your strategy with your lawyer. Because if you don’t know what you are going after, how will you know whether or not you got there?

Don’t forget about our special offer:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” this week (barring unforeseen circumstances). Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.  As soon as “Aggressive Discovery” goes on sale, this offer goes away.

We just completed a series of posts looking at one solution to some of the problems that Fathers face in family law court: a library of manuals specifically for Fathers and their issues.  We are getting ready to set out a new series of posts: how to develop a strategy with your lawyer, that combines pleadings, discovery, child custody, parenting time, and most other aspects of the litigation, including finances and parental alienation.  In fact,we might even package this as an information product, to be included as a bonus with the purchase of “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” when it is released soon.

Is this what people want to see from this blog? We want to make this blog unique.  It is not a pitch for a law firm.  It is not a front for a political organization.  We do not post about people protesting or picketing or doing things that, let’s face it, will do nothing to affect YOUR case.  The point of this blog has always been  to give practical tips to fathers who are in court or who want to be in court.  The point of this blog is to help Fathers set up their case - in conjunction with their lawyer - to present the best possible case, for themselves and their children.

So.  Please leave Comments to give us feedback on this topic.  You don’t have to give your name or email, just comments.  You’re not being added to some email list, and you won’t get anything about winnuing a lottery or getting Nigerian bank transfers.    Do NOT ask for advice on a specific case.  That would be like expecting a doctor you just met at a party to diagnose that red spot on your back.  Or, even worse - expecting that email from someone you never met to include an actual “hot stock tip”!! 

The Comments box is to let you tell us what you think of this blog, and of the “Aggressive” manuals.  It’s to let us know what topics you want to see addressed in the future, or maybe revisited from the past postings.  The next series is going to be on developing a strategy.  If you would rather see something else written about (and I’m not suggesting anything, because I am not in your shoes) - now’s your chance to get it off your chest.

Now, here’s one hint: we would not have a problem posting tips from Fathers that worked for them in court (something simple, like “look at the Judge when you are testifying” to something a litle more complex, like “make sure the guardian ad litem or child’s attorney is getting the same documents as the custody evaluator and the child’s counselor, so that you can get consistent recommendations.”) and use them to start a discussion among the fathers reading this.

So make Comments.  Have at it! This is your chance to talk, without someone yelling at you, getting in your face, or threatening to call the cops.  Take advantage of it.

Don’t forget about our special offer:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” this week (barring unforeseen circumstances). Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.  As soon as “Aggressive Discovery” goes on sale, this offer goes away.

So now Fathers have access to a library, specifically focused on their problems and their issues in family law court.  How does this help the problems they have in their case?

First, this library will educate Fathers as to their options.  Actually, it will educate Fathers as to HOW TO select the most appropriate option, to pursue the specific goal.  For example, there is at least one easy and inexpensive to get your ex’s income information.  It doesn’t involve endless letters between the attrorneys, and she cannot oppose it once it is issued.

Second, it will help Fathers and their lawyers develop a specific strategy focused on Father’s goals.  Too many Fathers complain that their approach seems to be “ready, fire, aim” when it comes to their issues, and “here’s what she’s accusing you of this time” when it comes to how much repect your ex gives your issues.  By helping to develop a long-term strategy, Fathers and their lawyers can save time, and money, and hopefully get better results.

Third, it will allow Fathers to review past hearings or cases, and analyze what could have been done.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over,and expecting a different result.  By looking at what maybe went wrong last time, Fathers can correct their present situations.

What won’t this library do? Guarantee success.  The decision, in most jurisdictions, is still up to a judge.  You still, in most jurisdictions, have to deal with someone representing the children, who may report to the court inaccurately.  But this library is designed to allow Fathers to use the legal process, legal terms, and legal rules, to focus on the issues, and hopefully remove the emotional and societal trump card that mothers always seem to hold.

The library is not legal advice.  It is not written by a specific law firm to drum up business.  It is written to be used by YOU with YOUR lawyer, whoever that is.

Don’t forget about our special offer:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” this week (barring unforeseen circumstances). Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.  As soon as “Aggressive Discovery” goes on sale, this offer goes away.

Also: you have friends who can benefit from this blog and from these manuals.  Whether it’s your brother, your best friend, your husband (if you are a step-mom) - let him or her know about this blog.  We encourage everyone - even people who disagree with us - to post comments here,  to get a dialogue going.

So how do Dads solve the problem of putting their issues, and their children’s issues, in front of a Judge who is possibly inclined to give Mom the win in the custody battle no matter what, with a lawyer who has little incentive to buck the system, and family law statutes that are vague and wide open enough to drive Mom’s brand new SUV through?

 

Give Dad a manual with the “magic words.”  Well, they aren’t really “magic” since they aren’t guaranteed to work every time.  In fact, sometimes all these “magic words” can do is get your case heard.  It’s still up to you and your lawyer to convince the judge you are correct.

 

Dad needs to be able to push his issues.  Really push his issues.  Aggressively.  Fearlessly.  So we came up with idea of a library of “Aggressive” topics. Oh - we are NOT a law firm.  There is NO recommendation for any law firm in these manuals or in any communications with you.  These manuals are designed to help you with with the lawyer you have chosen (the manuals themselves are not legal advice).

1. Aggressive Pleadings (available for sale): to address common situations that fathers find themselves and their children in, regarding parenting time, safety, and contempt of court.
2. Aggressive Discovery (available September 2008): to help Fathers force mothers to actually tell the truth, reveal information, and stop lying to the court, to the evaluators, to everybody.
3. Aggressive Parenting Time (coming soon): to give Dads tactics to enforce their parenting time, and strategies to make parenting time fun and enjoyable for the children.  And to defeat any parental alienation going on.
4. Aggressive Mental Health (coming soon): for those situations where mom has mental or emotional problems, or drug use or alcoholism. Also, what to do when Mom has the children diagnosed with everything under the sun (like ADHD, bi-polar, stress, etc.), and then claims you are a bad father because you fight her on this.
5. Aggressive Evidence (coming soon): tells fathers how to gather the evidence to prove the facts they need for their case.   This is a general discussion of some basic ideas (prove the value fo the house by getting an appraisal) and more advanced (how can you prove Mom is a drunk?)

 

And others, depending on what people ask for.

 

Manuals to explain legal strategies and tactics to Fathers, in plain language, so Fathers can sit down with their lawyers and say “do this.”  And so they can talk to a Judge in language the Judge understands.  And, very important, so the Judge understands that what you are asking for IS for the children, and not because you are mad at Mom.

So how do these manuals actually help Dad? We will look at that in the next post…

Don’t forget about our special offer:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” in a little less than 1 week. Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.

Also: you have friends who can benefit from this blog and from these manuals.  Whether it’s your brother, your best friend, your husband (if you are a step-mom) - let him or her know about this blog.  We encourage everyone - even people who disagree with us - to post comments here,  to get a dialogue going.

 

So, we have laws that say Dad has an equal shot, but family law courts (and evaluators, GALs, etc.) who aren’t inclined to give fathers custody, and lawyers who have zero incentive to fight against this system.

And I’m not saying there’s any kind of conspiracy or “good old boy network” or anything like that. Most of the time, the judge and evaluators don’t know you from Adam, and couldn’t care less about your family. It’s just so much easier, though, to just assume that Mom gets custody. That way, you don’t have to listen to all that tedious evidence, and all those witnesses, and worry about people complaining about your ruling, or that you are sexist or biased or – Gosh! – run the risk of not getting re-elected!

So the only one left to fight for Dad is – DAD!

But how can Dad do this?

Dad and the judge don’t speak the same language. Let’s say that Dad wants to keep Mom’s violent boyfriend away from the kids. But Dad says that Mom should stop seeing the guy, and the Judge says she has a Constitutional right to date anyone she wants, and Dad says “what about my rights?” and the Judge says “it’s not about you, and one more outburst, and I’ll find you in contempt” and LOOK! No one’s talking about the children!

And Dad’s lawyer may or may not be able to slip in the right words (I’ll tell you what those are in a second), but by then, the damage is done. Mom pipes in with “See, your honor? HE’s the violent angry one!” And right now – Dad probably IS angry!

So no one is here to give Dad the words and the language to get his issues (actually, the children’s issues) in front of the Judge the right way.

Oh, by the way. The way Dad should have asked to keep the boyfriend away from the children is to ask for a Restraining Order (or whatever it is called in your jurisdiction) that requires MOM to keep violent boyfriend away from the children. See, the court usually only has jurisdiction – authority – over the parents and the children, so boyfriends and girlfriends can’t be ordered by the court to do anything. And the Court cannot order people who they should date. But the court CAN order people to keep the children safe and out of harm’s way. So the request by Dad is for an Order on Mom to keep the children away from this particular violent individual. You don’t even have to mention he’s a boyfriend, if you don’t want to. This is all explained in “Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father,” by the way. Including how she is likely to respond.

So how does Dad learn this “magic” way of speaking?

Well, that’s for the next post…

Don’t forget about our special offer:
We are releasing “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” in a little less than 1 week. Our special exclusive pre-”Aggressive-Discovery” offer: buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free when it’s released in less than a week. Here is the blog post explaining the offer. Click HERE to buy “Aggressive Pleadings” and get “Aggressive Discovery” free.

Well, I put the final chapters in “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father.” So I’m planning on a day or two to edit, and then: Release It! Target date: Monday, September 8. And that’s when our SPECIAL ends. No exceptions. Get “Aggrrssive Pleadings” today, for your FREE copy of “Aggressive Discovery” on Tuesday.