Fathers Rights

If you are a father reading this blog, or the wife of a man without custody, or the brother or sister of a father who isn’t allowed to see his children, and who is frustrated every time he goes to court…

It hurts, doesn’t it?

It hurts to watch a good father wonder what his children are going to dress up for Halloween.  Or how they are doing in school.  Or why they won’t return his phone calls and emails.  It hurts to know that the children are being alienated from dad, deprived of their father’s love, nurturing, guidance, experience, discipline, and morals, while their mother is crying “poor” from her new car, demanding more child support.

It hurts to watch dad hire yet another lawyer - go to court one more time - file more and more pleadings - spend more and more money - adn come away with the same results.

Nothing.

So. Ya wanna know how to make it hurt even MORE?
DO IT AGAIN!  AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!

Remember the lawyer who never verified mom’s claims about how much daycare cost? Let’s see… That was lawyer number ALL of them!  Or what about the lawyer who met with Father, signed him up, never returned the phone calls, and showed up for the court hearing with HER offer in hand, saying “It’s the best you’re going to get…”

Yeah, that hurt.  It hurt emotionally.  It hurt financially.  And - maybe most of all - it hurt to watch her smirk and grin again.

So why would you do that over and over and over?

Get the Father’s Rights Library.  Look at your situation, and pick the 2 or 3 that fit your needs and your goals.  Figure out your discovery strategy, to force her lies out into the open.  Then, sit down with your lawyer, and develop a FOCUSED EFFICIENT strategy to ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS in court.

Or.. you can hire another lawyer, wihout a plan, and do the ame thing. Again.

Too many people try to use the divorce process to “re-do” the marriage.  Having done family law litigation for over 15 years, I have seen way too many situations where couples want the judge to tell them what they SHOULD have done in the marriage.  Or one party wants the Judge to tell him or her that he or she made the “right” decisions and the other spouse made all the “wrong” decisions.  People, I’m here to tell ya: it ain’t gonna happen.

The Judge is concerned with three things:

1. Are there grounds to dissolve the marriage?
2. How should the property be divided?
3. What happens to the children?

That’s it.  The Judge isn’t interested that you cashed in your 401(k) 10 years ago because she spends like a fiend.  The Judge isn’t interested that she joined clubs because you lost interest in her.  It’s those 3 things above (and any special circumstances, like maintanance or alimony, but those are unique to each case).

Why is this important to you? Because this can save you a ton of money in attorney’s fees, focus your case and not have the Judge distracted by extraneous crap, and help you and your lawyer present a neat tidy case that gets to the point.

You know what else helps save money, focus your case, and keeps the Judge from getting distracted by extraneous crap?
The Father’s Rights Library.
You know what the FRL costs?
Right now, it costs less than 7 minutes of lawyer time - for 6 pleadings AND 12 discovery mechanisms AND explanations about all of them AND how you can fit them into your strategy to protect your money, your children, and your life.

When a nuclear family separates, it usually separates into a “custodial” family and a “non-custodial” family. The custodial family is the parent with whom the children reside on a day-to-day basis. Most often, it’s the Mother. The non-custodial family is the other parent - usually Dad - and the children when they are with him. It ALSO includes ALL the relatives on Dad’s side of the family: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. THESE relatives are VITAL in your children’s lives, but how often do you think your ex will let THEM have time with the children? Remember - when you two broke up, the kids lost YOUR half of the family (that’s sarcasm, not reality).

Dad usually gets “visitation” with his children. Some states refer to it as “parenting time,” recognizing that he maintains his status as parent, but still distinguishing that his time with his children is regulated.

For families which - prior to the separation - had Dad in the home, seeing the children every day, interacting with the kids on a regular basis, probably the single most traumatic event is when the kids realize that they won’t see Dad every day. The single most on-going trauma occurs to kids when the visitation schedule is interfered with by Mom.

Now, this does not occur in every case, but it happens often enough. “Standard” visitation is alternating weekends and one evening per week. This is imposed because Moms, courts, and experts put forth that more frequent visitation is “disruptive” to the children and that kids should not be “bounced back and forth.” Courts NEVER consider that the children are not affected AT ALL by changes in OTHER schedules - teachers change, team practices or games schedules change, even schools change, and Courts don’t consider THESE “disruptive.” Only time with Dad is “disruptive.”

For kids that have gone from seeing Dad 30 times a month to 8 times a month, there IS nothing more disruptive! For kids that have gone from learning from, and being loved on a daily basis, by TWO parents to the sole CONTROL of one parent, there is NO bouncing that is more disruptive.
If Dad is denied ONE weekend, his time with his children is reduced by 25%. Somehow, THAT disruption is never considered. Also never considered is the REAL disruption that occurs on the “one night per week”: kids get bundled up, travel with Dad, get unbundled, eat dinner, maybe do homework, get bundled up again, travel back, get unbundled at Mom’s house, and get ready for bed. Doesn’t it make more sense to stay OVERNIGHT with Dad on this visit?

Where the children had Dad in the house on a daily basis, Courts need to consider schedules that provide the kids with more regular visit - daily after school, or every other day, or more mid-week overnight visitations. Childen who do not see their father are more likely to be abused by a boyfriend or step-father, abuse drugs,or engage in criminal activity. Frequent visitation may be one way to stem this terrible tide.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Before a final visitation schedule is set up, you MUST create a log of what your contact had been with the children, even if you have to re-create it from memory. If you are following a temporary visitation schedule, keep a log of each time you see the children - each time you are REFUSED time with your children - and each time you REQUEST time with your children. Also, have relatives request the child. REMEMBER - the child has grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that they don’t see it you don’t see the kids!!!

If you have a visitation schedule in place and are seeking to change it to 50/50: keep the above logs; become friendly with your children’s teachers, club leaders, etc. (because your children may be telling them that they want to be with you more), ASK for your kids FREQUENTLY. While it’s painful to hear “No” over and over, you NEED to show that you are interested in seeing your children.

FIGHT every denial of time, every change in schedule, every “the children have plans” excuse. Some states permit ploice reports to made of visitation interference. The most common tool is a Petition For Contempt. Some states permit an order (a form of injunctive relief) that demands that visitation occur IF your child support is current AND there are not pending allegations of abuse (in other words, get YOUR demand on file BEFORE she files off some bogus allegation against you).

To help accomplish these goals, check out the Father’s Rights Library.

Wow! That’s outrageous, isn’t it? Saving a year’s child support in attorney’s fees? How?

Because we just REDUCED the price of the Father’s Rights Library.  We’ve taken 66% off the SALE price.  But before we show you the NEW price, here is how it breaks down:

“Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father” contains 6 pleadings.
6 pleadings * 2.5 hrs/pleading * $250/hr == $3750
“Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father” contains 12 discovery mechanisms
12 discovery mechanisms * 1.5 hrs/mechanism * $250/hr == $4500
cost: $26.40 (that’s less than 7 minutes for a $250/hr lawyer!!!!)
TOTAL SAVINGS: $8,223.60
or $158.15/week

We LISTENED to the comments and feedback, and set the Father’s Rights Library at the most affordable price possible.

So order it HERE now.

We are just a few days - maybe even just 1 or 2 days away - from an awesome announcement about the Father’s Rights Library that will benefit everyone who has purchased or who wants to purchase.  I can’t say exactly what it is right now, but in a day or two - things will be dramatically changed.

We have listened to your comments and feedback.
Stay tuned…

Father’s Rights Library.  The only library of eManuals dedicated to helping Fathers succeed in family law court.

Last week, we released the second manual in the Father’s Rights Library: “Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father.”  This is the perfect complement and follow-up to the first manual, “Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father.”  And both have been selling very well, and we are very grateful to all of you who have purchased them.  We hope they are helping you and your children.

But we can’t figure out why every father hasn’t purchased one? Now, that may sound a little arrogant, but these manuals were written - and this library is being developed - specifically because of the complaints that fathers have about family law courts:
-Judges not listening to their issues;
-mothers, custody evaluators, children’s attorneys lying in court and Father not able to do anything about it;
-fathers not getting their parenting time;
-fathers losing their relationships with their children through parental alienation and becoming just a wallet to their kids;
-courts never looking at mother’s mental health or drug or alcohol issues;
-courts never looking at what mother is doing to the children’s mental health;
-mother’s new boyfriend or husband being dangerous to the children, and no one - except father - cares.

So, for everyone who has not purchased a manual, please do the following:
1. Go to the website and look at the descriptions of the manuals;
2. leave comment here (you do not have to leave your name or email address) as to why you didn’t purchase the manuals.

We will review these comments and make the manuals and the library as attractive to everyone, because these are the manuals you say you want and need.  Plus, we are taking a risk here, asking for PUBLIC comments about the Father’s Rights Library.  We could ask for private emails, or have a feedback box, and then just put out the “good” comments.  But we don’t roll that way, here at the Father’s Rights Library.  We want to provide the best possible support for fathers. So let us know how to do that.

Thank you all for your continued support of this blog and this project.  More manuals are coming soon.
Also, we are finishing up 3 projects:
1. an eCourse on common mistakes fathers make in litigation (it will be FREE);
2. a book on developing a strategy with your attorney (another FREE manual); and
3. an unofficial Father’s Bill Of Rights (again - FREE).

So please visit Father’s Rights Library and give us a comment or 2 on how this library can be improved, to get it into the hands of every father who needs it.

Many fathers feel that being in family law court is frustrating, expensive, and humiliating.  Litigation is supposed to be one party against another. Sometimes, there are multiple parties (say, for example, many victims of an accident caused by an employee of a company sue the employee and the company.  The employee and the company may be opposed to the victims and may be opposed to each other as well).  In a family law setting, it really should be father and mother, presenting their respective cases, and having a judge decide between them.

Fathers, however, many times feel like it’s father versus mother, guardian ad litem (or child’s representative or friend of the court or whatever yours is called locally), custody evaluator, child’s therapist, and sometimes even judge.  That’s a lot for one man to fight, even with a really good attorney!

And, to make it worse, many fathers feel the rules of evidence are bent ever so slightly.  Rules of evidence are what allow a party to attack or challenge the other side’s accusations.  Take, for example, an allegation that Father drinks too much.  If Mom’s evidence is “my friend said that Sarah said that she heard that Father was at a bar, a few weeks ago” - well, I hope it’s obvious that doesn’t prove anything!  But, too often, evidence like “the child says she is afraid of Father” comes in. And evidence of parental alienation(the child is afraid because Mom is telling the child lies about Father) stay out.

And that’s where Dads feel like they are fighting a wall of jello - no standards, no fixed targets, nothing that stands still long enough for Dad to prove it false - but it’s there long enough for the Judge to use to decide against Father.

Forcing the Court to address the proper issues is one way to fight this challenge.  Forcing Mom to tell the truth, and back up her accusations thgoutrh discovery, is another.

For more assistance, see the Father’s Rights Library.
Check out the October special.