Fathers Rights

Growing up, kids have all kinds of heros.  Some, like athletes, can inspire them and motivate them to accomplish great feats.  Some, like politicians or great leaders, can help them see a world bigger than themselves.  Some, like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, are just passing fads.  But there is one hero no child can grow up without.

Dad.

When Mom and Dad separate, and Mom gets the kids, sometimes Dad can stay in their lives.  Visiting them regularly.  Helping out at school.  BEING in their lives.  And the kids remember this.

And sometimes - and if you are at this blog, probably you or a father you love - Dad is intentionally excluded.  Carved out of their lives.  Kept in the dark on health matters, school and religious issues.  Dad is a wallet.  And the kids remember this, too.

Be in their lives.  If you aren't getting your visitation rights, it's a waste of time asking her for them.  It's a court order. Enforce it.

Click HERE for more information. Because your kids deserve you in their lives.

One of the most stressful aspects of being a father without custody is the feeling that you are living you life looking over your shoulder.  Everything you do is criticized.  Everything you don't do gets attacked. This causes stress. So how can you get rid of the stress?

By embracing it.

I'll give you the example I give my clients:
Let's say you've got your son for the weekend.  You two are driving in the car. He turns to you and says, "Hey Dad. Let's go to McDonald's for lunch!"

Here are the bad scenarios.
Bad scenario #1: you take him to McDonald's for lunch. And oh! You are attacked! "That's not real food!" "You're going to make him fat and give him a heart attack!"   "You are a terrible father!"
Bad scenario #2: you don't take him to McDonald's for lunch.  Let the arrows fly! "You know how much he likes McDonald's!" "He was starving by the time you finally fed him!" "You are a terrible father!"

So how do you avoid the stress in this situation?

Look, if everything you do is going to bring the accusation "You're a terrible father" - then do what you want!  because it doen't matter.  It is impossible for you to make the right decision. Or to do the thing that makes her say: "Oh, yeah - THAT's okay."

So make the decisions that are right for you and your son. Every time.

Go HERE to order "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"
Go RIGHT_HERE to get a free mini-report: Introduction To "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

So here's my question:
Should we have a term for "fathers who don't have custody"?
"Non-custodial father" is just too long and awkward
"divorced dad" doesn't apply to everyone
And what should we call this whole situation? "Split family" just doesn't sound right...
So leave me suggestions in the COMMENTS on this blog and we'll see if there is a consensus
Thank you
P.S. please don't say "Dad."  Yes, it's appropriate and it's correct - but I am looking for a specific subset of "dad"

I saw this article this morning, saying that a judge in Maryland has decided that a RAPIST has "father's rights":
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-te.md.rape05mar05,0,5226799.story
(here's the headline and first paragraph:

Rape suspects' parental rights under debate
In Maryland, a man who fathers a child through rape maintains parental rights, such as the right to appeal for visitation or custody of his offspring.)

This is insane.  In a system where fathers who live with their children every day of the marriage are denied visitation post-separation, and ex-boyfriends are given "supervised visitation" because of unsupported acusations of alcohol abuse, to even consider that a rapist has father's rights is insane.

Fathers who love their children have to fight every day in a system that refuses to acknowledge that love.  They have to fight against judges who find it easier to calculate unpaid child support than lost parenting time.  They fight mother who love the child support more than they respect the need for a loving father to be in his children's lives.

And now they are told that they are put on the same level of animals who rape women.

Our legal system is now insane. Plan your litigation accordingly.

The answer is not to amend the statute, as the article states, but for the legal system to presume that fathers love their children, and that being a rapist irrebuttably rebuts that presumption. Let the rapists form a lobby and change the laws, not force fathers to do it.

For a copy of "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" click HERE.
For a FREE copy of the INTRODUCTION to "Aggressive Pleadings" click HERE.

Well, not ALL of it.  I have decided to release the INTRODUCTION to "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" as a FREE mini-report, so that you can decide that this IS the manual to help you and your family.
This is the exact introduction from the book, not an edited or scaled-down version.  It discusses:

• WHY this book was necessary;
• HOW to use the pleadings; and
  
• the PROCESS of getting your issues into court.

So, if you haven't decided whether or not purchase "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" then just CLICK_HERE to go to the website, request your FREE Introduction, and take some time to review it.
As an added bonus, you will receive a short series of emails explaining more about "Aggressive Pleadings" and how it can be USED to help you.

So get your FREE copy, delivered right to your inbox today (even if it's 3:00 a.m.!)  Read it over.  Think about it. Think about how you can use this to be a HERO to your children, and not just a wallet.

Thank you.

Wouldn't it be nice if fathers had a Bill Of Rights that court, lawyers, custody evaluators, police, and mothers had to respect and enforce?  What rights would you put in such a Father's Bill of Rights?

Here's one suggestion:
The right to have a presumption, in court, in evaluations, and in appeals, that fathers in fact love their children.

What other rights do you think fathers have?  Leave comments, please.

And, to enforce the few rights that fathers do have, order
"Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

Fathers who do not have custody know how difficult it is to arrange summer parenting time.  Many divorce decrees or state parenting time guidelines give fathers the right to have 2 weeks, or 4 weeks, or even half the entire summer with their children!  But actually GETTING all that time? Whew. Good luck.

It doesn't take luck.  It takes tenacity and persistence. It takes demanding that time with YOU is more important than summer camps, cheerleading practices, or fake summer schools.

First, review your decre or state guidelines and see if there is a deadline for you to select your time.  WRITE this deadline on ALL your calendars. DO NOT MISS IT! At least one week before the deadline, send her a letter by certified mail and regular mail, listing specifically the dates you are selecting.  Do not say these are the dates you "want" or the dates you are "asking" for.  These are your dates. Don't be wishy-washy about it. If she has a lawyer, send the lawyer a copy as well.

If there is not a deadline in the Decree or guidelines, then pick one! Most decrees or guidelines use April 1 or May 1.  I say the sooner the better, especially if your ex has a history of enrolling the children in every activity available over the summer, to deny you your time with them.

(Review this step with local counsel to make sure it's okay with local rules and practice) File with your court a simple "Certificate Of Notification" that says: "<your name> notifies this Court that on <date>, he sent to <ex wife name> by certified mail, return receipt requested, notification of the dates elected for summer parenting time, pursuant to <paragraph of the Decree or paragraph of the guidelines>."  Send her a copy and add a Certificate of Service at the bottom.

Don't wait until the last moment. Don't let her respond to your dates with "alternate" dates.  Don't even acknowledge that these dates are negotiable.  You are entitled to specific time during your kids' summer break.  Take it. Use it.

For the best guide to enforcing your rights - and your children's rights - in court, get a copy of:
"Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

This is specially priced right now, to get it into as many fathers' hands as possible.