Fathers Rights

I saw a commercial today that really got my blood boiling. It's for a life insurance company. I won't say which one, because they don't deserve any publicity. In the commercial, this woman says, "I'm a single mother. I'm all my kids have." Oh, really? Are you a WIDOW?

Notice that she said "single" mother and not "widowed" mother. That means dad is still alive. But apparently he might as well be DEAD for all she cares. In most divorces or paternity orders, fathers are required to maintain life insurance, to cover their child suport in care they die. But mothers rarely are required to carry life insurance, even though - if THEY die - the children go to dad! That's right. Most states, maybe even all states, have a presumption that the surviving biological parent gets custody of the children if the custodial parent dies. Did you know this? Does your ex have life insurance, to provide her child support if she dies and the kids come to live with you?

But there is this myth of the single mother. You know, of course, that in all of history, there was only one woman who could really claim to be a single mother. But in that case, God told Joseph to marry Mary. So unless these women are somehow miraculously having virgin births - there IS a father and they are NOT "single moms."

And, of course, they are hardly "single moms" when the child support check is due. THEN dad can be found. But can Dad be found on Fourth of July weekend? Spring break? Parent-teacher conferences, doctor appointments, first dates? Oh, hell no. THAT's when she is a "single mom."

Your kids do NOT have a "single mom." Your kids have a FATHER. Enforce your parenting time. Protect your kids from her new husband or boyfriend. Straighten out your child support, soi you can afford to visit them.

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One of the hardest things for fathers without custody to do is to stay in their children's lives. Very often, it's a struggle to get all your parenting time. Phone calls to your children are hit-or-miss. Letters get - um - "lost" before they reach your children. Who knows if your emails are read?

So, between the random phone call, the intermittent parenting time you get, the "lack" of cards and letters that ever actually reach your children - how can you keep your memoy and your love for them right in front of them all the time?

By giving them things to put in their room. A picture of you and them at the amusement park or ballgame. A poster of their favorite athlete or singer, with a note from you handwrittten on it. Some memento that they can look at and see you and your love for them.

And you know what drives judges absolutely nuts?

When mom or stepdad takes that thing down.

One question I always ask to mom - sometimes directly, or sometimes I will make sure the Guardian Ad Litem or custody evaluator asks it - is "does the child have a pcicture of Dad in his or her room?" Because a "NO" means that Mom is manipulating the child emotionally. Changing the child inside. Judges, for the most part, don't get all bent out of shape over missed parenting time or mis-spent child support. But when Mom starts reaching inside the child, and changing his or her perception of you - well, that's when Judges sit up and take notice.

So make sure that you give your kids lots of pictures that have YOU in them. And lots of things with handwritten notes from you on the thing.

For more helpful tips, check out "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father"

P.S. I am just a few days away from releasing Volume 2: "Aggressive Discovery For The Non-Custodial Father"
This manual will explain the discovery process, and include specific recommendations to FORCE her to tell the Truth - or at least to pick ONE lie and stick with it.
If you have an idea for Volume 3, leave a comment to this blog. Some of my ideas for this next manual are:
-Aggressive Parenting Time For The Non-Custodial Father
-Aggressive Custody Litigation For The Non-Custodial Father
-Aggressive Appeals For The Non-Custodial Father
If YOU want one of these to be VOLUME 3 - or if you have a BETTER idea - leave me a comment. Thank you.